The Question That Shaped My Life

I still remember being a little girl, maybe five or six years old, unable to fall asleep one night. I went downstairs crying in my father’s arms. What was bothering me was a question that, in many ways, would shape my entire life: Why don’t we see Hashem?

My father held me and gently explained that Hashem hides His face as a test — to see if we will still believe in Him even when we cannot see Him. At the time, I tried to understand, but it was only many years later that his words began to make deep sense to me.

Learning to See Hashem’s Hand

Now, as a mother and grandmother raising a family and dedicating my life to serving Hashem — supporting my husband so he can learn Torah — I look back and see how true my father’s answer really was.

Growing up, I faced many hardships, especially in the area of health. I saw my father battle cancer twice, at a time when people barely spoke about it. Later, I watched him slowly deteriorate from MSA, a disease similar to ALS. I watched other family members become ill and face their own painful challenges. Somewhere along the way, I adopted an attitude of “expect the worst.” It felt like a kind of protection — if I expected the worst, I couldn’t be disappointed.

The Power of Bitachon

Then one day, a friend introduced me to a short five-minute daily recording on bitachon — trust in Hashem. My first reaction was resistance: Does she think I don’t have bitachon? But she encouraged me to listen, and I did. Those few minutes changed my life.

Through those lessons, I learned something I had never fully understood before: that through bitachon, a person can actually bring about a yeshua — a salvation — in the way they themselves envision it to be good. Hashem can change any situation, no matter how hopeless it seems, because He is all-powerful. Even if a challenge was decreed by Hashem, bitachon has the power to transform it.

I also learned that despair itself can block the yeshua from coming. Our worrying and negative thinking can actually become stumbling blocks that hold back Hashem’s help. When we give in to fear or hopelessness, we close the door that faith could have opened. Realizing this changed everything for me.

Finding Hope in Every Challenge

I began to notice all the blessings in my life — big and small — and to see them as direct gifts from Hashem. It was a total shift. Instead of expecting the worst, I started looking to Hashem to bring about the best.

This change didn’t just bring outward yeshuos — which I did experience in beautiful and unexpected ways — but something even greater: a feeling of closeness to Hashem that I had never known before. I may not see Hashem with my eyes, but I now feel His presence and His love in every part of my life.

I also came to understand that challenges themselves are not punishments; they are opportunities — ways for Hashem to bring us closer to Him, to help us earn eternal reward, and to build our Olam Haba.

Building a Community of Hope

As I began to change the way I viewed my own life, I also started to listen differently to others. Over the years, many friends have shared their struggles with me — illness, children, parnassah, and more. And I noticed something: whether it was my own thoughts or theirs, the pattern was the same. We were all falling into the same trap — focusing on what could go wrong instead of what could go right. It was the same work of the yetzer hara, whispering despair, convincing us to see only the darkness and forget the light.

But that is not the truth. The truth is that Hashem is always working behind the scenes, arranging everything for our good. The yetzer hara wants us to stop believing in that — because when we despair, we block the flow of Hashem’s kindness.

So I decided to do something about it. I wanted to create a place where we could share and remember the stories of yeshuos — stories of hope, of salvation, of people who saw Hashem’s hand turn things around in miraculous ways. A place to strengthen each other’s bitachon, to remind ourselves that just as Hashem helped us in the past, He will continue to help us in the future.

Dedicated with Love and Faith

Even today, I still face my own challenges, and they are not easy. But I face them with a different perspective. When I look back at all the times I felt lost or afraid, I can now see how Hashem brought me a yeshua each time — often in ways I never could have imagined. Looking back helps me look forward. It reminds me that just as Hashem helped me then, there is nothing stopping Him from helping me now.

That is why I created Yeshtikvah — “there is hope.”

I have dedicated this site as a refuah sheleimah for my father. Even though there is no known cure for his illness, I truly believe that Hashem can change everything in a single moment.

Because now I understand — the same way my father taught me so long ago — that even when Hashem hides His face, He is still right here with us. And when we keep believing, keep trusting, and keep hoping — yesh tikvah. There is always hope.